Oh yeah, I'm celebrating! Today is the 6 month anniversary of my diagnosis. I am now 1 in 5. I am one of the 20% that didn't die in the first six months after diagnosis.

I intend to live through this, I intend to live more than five years. At that point I will be one in 20. Next stop, 1 of about a dozen in 40,000 victims each year. I'll be one of the survivors.

Let's cut straight to the point. I am going to live!!! My CA-19 count is at 225. Think of it as a golf score, the lower it goes the better it is. Normal is less than 55. Mine is 225, down from 345 in early August, and 725 in June. I dropped 120 points (is that what they call them?) or so while I was on chemo holiday. Life!

Okay, thank you to everybody out there that prayed for me, sacrificed small furry animals, or even had a kind thought about me. Thanks to every perception of the almighty any of you might have had. I am once again among the living, and planning to stay that way.

Okay, party at my house. I'll buy a keg and a complete stock of liquor. Just kidding, Nutri-Nazi would kill me. Hell of a deal, to be killed for throwing a party because I got an E ticket to life. (for those of you who don't know, an E ticket was the all inclusive ticket at Disneyland before the world got modern)

For those that are local and know where I live, come on over, I am available for interviews and I'm serving drinks. I feel like a million dollars, a real million dollars, not the modern day equivalent.

And God, if you are still interested in life here on this miserable planet, thank you too. Between the two of us we worked it out, and medical science helped too.

For those of you wondering, yes Patrick Swayze's death did bother me. I had looked to him as an example of people who continued on after a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and might even survive. There are so very few stories of people surviving this affliction, and I thought this was a very high profile case that held some promise for me. When I first heard the news I felt nothing much except a sadness that he had died. Within a few minutes though my blood pressure went through the ceiling and my peace of mind has been out the window since. I have had a lot of trouble concentrating, I have headaches that are pervasive, I cannot deal with much of anything that involves real thought and any kind of conflict overwhelms me whether I am involved or not. Without exaggeration is it as if I am being physically and emotionally attacked from every side. Dealing with people is pretty tough for me. I have become pretty much housebound. Mortality is once again in the room and kicking the furniture around and pretty much screwing my life up. I have had to resort to clonazapam, an anti-anxiety medication and follow it up with a couple vicodin for the headaches.

My wife was kind enough to finagle the cancer center to move my appointment up to tomorrow so I can get the results of my test before Monday. That might alleviate some of the stress I have been going through. I believe it will be good news but I will not be sure until I hear every detail. And then I will probably go over it all again and again until I can remember it. (It took me four months to remember the three chemotherapy drugs I was being infused with, and I was trying my hardest to recall them.) The details in the report tomorrow will have to be written down, maybe I can get a printed report.

Yes, I still blog. Like I said before though, good news is boring. I have been on chemo holiday for 5 weeks now. That is five weeks without evil chemicals and the after effects. Five weeks of not worrying about my blood sugar levels or the ups and downs from the chemicals and preps of chemo treatment. That is over now. Tuesday I go in for the CT scan and blood tests to find out if my CA19s are good or better or lower, if the cancer is growing or shrinking and all that stuff that I put out of my mind for 5 weeks.

I feel fine and I am putting on weight still. My blood sugars, when I check them, are good, still below 200. I had one at 100 the other day. My bodily functions are normal. I really don't think I have anything to worry about. But I also didn't worry before I was diagnosed and that almost killed me. Believe me, nothing has been the same since I was diagnosed. I don't take much of anything for granted anymore. So I am worried or at least concerned about the results.

I take the tests this week and I will get the results on Monday, September 21. I will post the results here when I get them. The options are: Bad news, I'm back on chemo because either the the cancer started growing again or The CA19s are decreased and they see no growth in the cancer so I get 6 more weeks off. Kinda like the groundhog, 6 more weeks of winter or spring begins. Only with more dire consequences if he does see his shadow.