April 6

I started the oral chemo today. It feels like I just got off a carnival ride. I am kind of nauseous and still tired. I notice too that my sense of days and weeks is all screwed up. This all started like two weeks ago yet it seems like a century ago. I am so wrapped up in how I feel, which is terrible, most of the time. Always want just a little more sleep. Beautiful days outside, mild to chilly, but great growing weather for the flowers. Nice spring overall and all I want to do is lay around and sleep. I'm still getting used to how my body feels and what I have to do to keep it all together. I always need sleep and I need to eat more, especially vegetables.

You would think sending a quick email took lots of time and effort, but it doesn't. When you feel like your last bait of energy left you two hours ago, just getting the energy to think is an effort. My world has shrunk to include just barely me. I have to think about Janice too, and that is so often an effort. She has been great to me, adjusting her life to accommodate the pain in mine.

Off to nap time, again. I am dressed so seldom that I can wear the same pair of Levi's for three days easily. Getting real tired of lacing up my boots or tying my shoes. Several times a day.